Ken & Brian Gillespie talk about survival in this crazy world.

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-bajt2-d605fb

What’s going on in todays world? How do we manage to keep it together and actually thrive? Ken & Brian hit on the things that we are fearful of and how we can navigate through it and get some tools to use to to strengthen ourselves. Enjoy this epic episode 

My Radio Interview on 99.3 with Buddhist Brian Gillespie

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-apxud-d55f39

My new radio show on 99.3 I interview Buddhist Brian Gillespie and we talk about raising our consciousness through meditation: the how, why, and when. Listen-in to this very informative and mind-expanding discussion.

My 2 Week Social Media Experiment – ugh!

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-hdu8d-d48c36

I took 2 weeks to spend more time on social media to monitor how it affected me. Here is what happened…

Ken & Dave QiGong, Energy, being OK

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-x9j4z-d1c485

This episode we discuss fitting in and the stereotypical attitudes to navigate in changing times, and how to keep your vibe up.

How I Healed with Ayahuasca

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-ggwvq-d04b20

There isn’t quite anything like the deep-dive of Ayahuasca into your soul. After years of self-discovery and hard work looking into why I was still struggling with my past and wasn’t happy, I finally embarked into the plant-based medicine of the Amazon and went down the rabbit hole. Here is what I found.

What does Masculinity have to do with happiness?

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-828xj-cfbc4a

My Guest Dave Riley and I talk about masculinity and how to become more self-aware using the concept of presence and connection. Enjoy 

2020 IS ALL ABOUT LESS

Simplify your life.

That concept just might be your biggest needle-mover in 2020.

In this complex world where it seems everyone in the last few years continues to be laser focused on getting rich, getting famous and outdoing the Jones’s, it’s almost impossible to simply keep up. However, there is something about these desires that the majority on that path is missing- and that is “Consciousness”.

Social media in recent years has manufactured a wave of unconscious consumers who are racing to buy things with money they don’t have. Going into debt in order to keep up with what’s cool, what gets you in the club, and gets you accepted is the new norm. But, is it satisfying and meaningful? Have you made the smartest investment with your hard-earned money? Is this real happiness?

Let’s sit for a moment and consider how far this runaway consumer society has gotten out of control.

First- debt: People feeling they need to buy things with borrowed money to fit in. The emotional cost of having that pressure is daunting, especially if one cannot afford to keep up with all the new styles and what’s cool. In any given moment, someone’s social media post that goes viral now has you in a rush to buy on-line or go out to the stores to purchase those shoes, that sweater, those pants, that car, that gadget, all just so you can be seen wearing or using it. Ultimately, it’s to feel accepted and be a part of the clan and pepper your ego. Reality is, we can shop our way to the poor-house trying to keep up. Emotionally, this destructive behaviour comes from feeling lack. More on that later.

Unconscious consumerism is a social sickness. And the more we feel divided, alone, unimportant and feeling spiritual lack, the more we look to the outside for things that we think will ultimately give us a sense of worthiness and acceptance. So, we need to feel good, but it’s a sweet and sour deal: the item of purchase temporarily makes us feel important, but the stressed induced from not being able to afford it keeps us up at night and in a state of angst.

Unfortunately, our collective human condition is the wantonness for “more”. We’re never satisfied, it’s never enough, that is until we become “conscious”.

Second: The toll on the planet from unconscious consumerism is huge. This disposable society throws away whatever was previously cherished that we were goo-goo over when it was purchased, now lays in a corner of the house, in a dump, in a river, on a beach or in the ocean.

Every product, every possible thing that is made and manufactured comes from resources buried in the ground or growing in the soil on this planet. We don’t get materials from space, not yet. We have to dig up the earth for the raw materials and the by-product of the manufacturing is toxic gas, toxic water, toxic air, toxic sludge, and clutter that ultimately ends up being digested through the air we breathe, the water we drink, the food we eat, and into our blood stream. Once there, it creates disease and early death.

A report by the Business Insider July 2019 article reports “One class of pollutant found in breast milk all over the world (but particularly in the US) is flame retardants, or chemicals designed to keep items from catching fire. The chemicals have been linked to thyroid cancerADHD, and decreases in children’s IQs. They can be transferred from mother to child.

The European Food Safety Authority has determined that breast-fed infants consume up to 20 to 30 times more PBDEs (a type of flame retardant used in building materials, electronics, furniture, and textiles) than the general population”.

What is alarming is that most people seem unaware that a baby in the womb already is being exposed to all these toxic chemicals through their mother’s blood, fluids and energetic field. Mother and baby are one, not separate. More on that later.

Climate change certainly does look real. Ask yourself is your new shoes or purse or phone that you really didn’t need has anything to do with it? We can all point to the petroleum companies and blame them for the state of affairs, but as long as people have this hunger to shop mindlessly to fill up closets and monster homes and garages of toys, we’ll experience more of the same and even worse to come. But, don’t get mad at the fossil fuel companies, they are just delivering the fuel to make these products that you keep purchasing. Enough people stop buying something, that business changes fast or goes out of business. If people want change, they also have to change what they buy. If ego is involved, unfortunately all bets are off, people with sensitive and unmanaged egos will satisfy their cravings regardless of the downside. The only way to supress the ego is “waking up” and becoming “conscious”. More on that later.

So why are we feeling “lack”. I personally believe it’s because we have lost control of our ability to own our own thoughts. Slowly over time, the people showing you TV commercials, broadcasting the news, magazine publishers, social media behemoths, have curated your brain into their sponge, to absorb and soak up all they have to offer by making you think you aren’t good enough until you have what they are selling. We lost our minds, and to some degree they now it in their hands.

Our ability to simply concentrate is below that of a goldfish as scientifically studied at 8 seconds. A goldfish can keep its concentration at 9 seconds. Why and how have we been outshined by a fish? Is it because we have been endlessly exposed to fathomless layers of media, technology and communications of all kinds at a lightening pace that is far beyond our ability to intuitively, wisely and responsibly digest and manage? Or is that that we are raising children who have no ability to sit still unless you give them a cell phone, iPad or electronic game. Or is it because our self-esteem and creativity have been beaten down so badly by the institutions of education, our parents, and “what we don’t have that they have” on social media?

Perhaps it all of the above. Regardless we are losing control, at least we are losing our ability to be well-grounded and sure-footed with who we are that gives us the clarity and the realization we are good enough as we are. As a matter of fact, we are far better than we think we are, and far more powerful than we can ever imagine.

The only thing in the way of realizing that is “you”. Yup. If you can find your way back to yourself, you will see the illusion that’s out there and being played in front of your very eyes. Not to say it isn’t “real”, it’s just that you’ll see and find your own significance and connection to everything, everyone in every place, and this one unified field of energy is far more important, and vast, and grand than a simple pair of new shiny shoes. Once you go there, those shoes, that car, that funky new umbrella will look feebly unimportant and petty to you.  That lustre of consuming wears off fast, and you will be very aware of it, and therefore you won’t succumb to the bait, that photo-shopped post, that advertisement, to rob you of your money and the earth’s resources and our home.

You stop being an unconscious consumer once you drink the Kool-Aid, the Kool-Aid of “conscious awareness”. Your ego purchases will sulk into the shadows and eventually become non-existent. You will “wake-up”. You will be thoughtful and caring in your purchases, even compassionate.

But how to find this “conscious awareness”? It all starts with your Heart. Yes, that energy source that is in the middle of your chest. Why your heart? I won’t give you the secret, but can only tell you that you will understand once you start focussing there.

To become aware of it takes practice and practice takes time, but it will be the best investment you ever made.

Once your heart is fully open you will experience a silent and profound knowingness of the intelligence within you that is connected to something much bigger and all around and deep within you. There is a melting-together, a bonding or even one could say a dissolving into “it”. That intelligence is what we call Source, God, Brahma,Yahwey or whatever your preference, but it exists, its powerful beyond anything, and its free!

To open your Heart is simply done by practicing sitting in stillness, in quiet, and focussing in on your Heart as an energy emitting and accepting love. Breathe in Love, and exhale Love. Breathe in the Love of those who love you, and breathe out Love for those you love. Continue doing that and at some time after some practice, you will begin to have some new thoughts, some new clarity, some new peacefulness within you.

Eventually with more practice you will slip into a state of complete nothingness. You will become no-one, no-thing, no-where, in-no-time. That is when you will enter the quantum field where you are every-one, every-thing, every-where in every-time. This is the space of endless possibility. This is where you manifest your life. This is the consciousness that is needed to change the problems of the world that were created unconsciously.

Once you go there, you want this more than all the tea in China, or all the shoes, or all the cars, or all the…

If you want a short cut to get there, read here

 

Why I Moved to a Small Town with Crappy Internet

It’s almost been a year since I did my last Ayahuasca Ceremony. There, in Costa Rica at Rythmia Life Advancement Centre, I met God. Yes I did. I also watched angels being born and became one of them. I stood at the gate of a dimension that I feared I would dissolve into and never return. My experiences with Ayahuasca this time around was far more profound and beyond anything I could have imagined. These events blew me into a million pieces of confetti shot into the air only to try and reformat myself and reorganize a new me before I hit the ground and die at the end of this lifecycle. Almost a year later from floating in the middle of the universe feeling and seeing the unimaginable love and bliss emanating from it, I am still putting myself together and experiencing the constant drip of new realizations and aha-moments endlessly revealing themselves and making my evolution unceasingly expanding in personal growth.

The two biggest questions mankind has struggled with and have been at the forefront of human existence and almost every philosophical discussion are:  

1-“Who am I?”

2-“why am I here?”

These two questions were profoundly answered during an Ayahuasca ceremony where I left my physical body and went into the vacuum of space, through the quantum field to the centre of the universe where I saw God, not as a physical entity, but as an energy source emitting from what I can only describe as the most beautiful vision I have ever seen. This is where I witnessed physical beings transformed into angels by “getting their wings”; being encased in pure light and then shooting up into the cosmos. I was able to feel a depth of love I have never experienced in my lifetime; it was so overwhelming it brought my physical body on earth, laying on a mattress during ceremony, to uncontrollable sobs of tears as my friends later told me.  

The most incredible experience of all during ceremony was the awakening of my consciousness that we are all here on the “earth-school” to learn that our very existence is eternal, that we are all here to guide and help each other wake-up and remember we are all star children from the cosmos and are returning home. Right then and there I found my purpose, everyone’s purpose, and that and is to become enlightened beings and help others find their way. If you don’t believe me now, in time, perhaps another lifetime, you will too understand that. Life is not about collecting “stuff” or cars, or houses, or how much money or “likes” we accumulate.

2020 is here. It’s a significant year for change. Everything is already changing, and fast. As we watch the once stoic and revered institutions of science, politics, education, Wall Street, and religion all start to crumble, we go about daily life seemingly unconcerned with what will replace them. I have always questioned authority for some reason going back as early as childhood, and I always knew something was up behind all those rules and rituals and slick sales pitches for what’s good for us and why we must fall-in line. But, this is a different time coming. Things are going to show up that we had no foresight in seeing, no knowledge of either its existence or its making, or that it is coming whether you like it or not. 

As we become more absorbed in technology and our gadgets, we drift farther from our centre, our connectedness to ourselves and the place where we come from. One could say that the more disconnected we are from this source, the unhappier and unhealthier we are. I agree and have been there myself. For years, I have been lost in the illusion that the name of the game is “he who has the most toys win” and “you” and “I” are separate, not connected and it doesn’t matter to me what happens to you, and vice versa. Social media is proving this theory in spades- we’re so consumed with what others look like and the fun we’re not having, in the desire to get people to “like” us, we’re willing to lose ourselves and step on anyone to get it to feel that temporary validation and importance. 

Recently, on a trip back to the city, as I walked by a waiting room with thirty-two people in it, all but one was staring into their time-machines. I use this analogy because to me our phones suck away time and our attention to life in the here-and-now. Just watch people’s behaviour when they pull out their phones, it’s like they are being pulled into their phones, like smoke being sucked into a vacuum cleaner. This is especially noticeable with young children, it’s like they are emptying their heads into this hand-held blackhole. From my vantage point, looking at that room full of people gazing into their tiny screens, I could plainly see the madness in it. I haven’t been witness to this since I moved out to the country. Where I live, you don’t see mass digital zombies, just a handful spattered here and there at a coffee shop at best. Where I live, people talk. They laugh together. They commune.

I can attribute my Ayahuasca experience to waking-me-up and becoming increasingly aware of my limited time here on this beautiful blue dot floating in the eternal cosmos. Maybe I put a premium on time and my attention span and filter out the mundane and the unimportant and realize the eternal “hear-and-now”, -is “here” and “now”, it’s not tomorrow or some other time. 

Yes, I woke-up. 

Like the many people that are becoming increasingly aware that the city life is just too fragmented, congested and chaotic, I started looking for an exit out of the madness. I could say the smell, the angry drivers, the smiles wiped off people’s faces walking down the streets are physical signs of the discomfort and disharmony of city life, but for me it’s more than just that which had turned my sights to moving out into the country. 

What did it for me is that I started to feel the city-life was drawing the life-force out of me. I started to feel the heaviness of the city and chaos. I started to experience a dull-ness, a type of haze wash over me, a feeling of accepting less and sucking it up and trying to be OK with my plight as if it was a life-sentence and I had to let the clock run out. I didn’t feel free and alive anymore. I knew the air I breathed was dirty, that I couldn’t escape the noise, that there were no places to swim anymore other than a chlorine filled pool. I knew in case of a big and more serious public emergency I could not escape the chaos and traffic to get onto higher ground. Yes, these things, and more kept me up at night.

Then I just did it. I moved.

Coincidentally set up by the universe, while I was away in Costa Rica I received a phone call informing me that I could help create and take a small ownership in building a retreat centre in a place called Prince Edward County. It seemed the stars aligned as I just had a complete emotional and phycological upgrade from my Ayahuasca experiences, and that I was regretfully coming back home to the city where I already was disenchanted and wanting to leave, plus my business and marital life wasn’t doing so well.

It just seemed like a ripe opportunity to pack and head to the country to start a new life in a small town. Prince Edward County Canada is like a small island of 1000 square kilometers, sticking out in Lake Ontario. It’s mainly all farmland with an increasing population of vineyards, wineries, breweries, restaurants and shops.  In the summertime its bustling with tourists and is one of the most magical places I have been to. So, I said “yes! I’ll help build the retreat.”

Soon after I arrived, I quickly learned that the retreat centre wasn’t what I was hoping for, so I left and grabbed an apartment and haven’t looked back. My business is thriving here as I do contracting and light construction, mostly beautifying spaces and fixing up homes. There is plenty of business for me, and lots and lots of opportunities here for anyone as the population and tourism grows. It will be a while before it takes on anything I would consider “big city” problems, so I am quite content pitching my tent here for a long while. 

I see more and more people coming here and setting up shop, bringing their talents and gifts and starting their own business and leaving the corporate world behind. Here, dinner with friends, a hike, a swim, a motorcycle ride in the country is my bliss. There is something special about seeing cows in a field, vegetable stands on the side roads, blue skies and people laughing and loving their lives. 

Yes, I have arrived.

 

I’ll be writing more about living the life in the country. Stay tuned.

see this post on Medium

How to Wake-Up before You Die.


It’s been six months since doing Ayahuasca at Rythmia Costa Rica and my world has been rocked!

What brought me originally to Rythmia was to cough-up a big nasty hairball of a dark and painful past. My hopes were that I could clear my path forward by answering some of life’s simplest, yet most difficult questions such as: Who am I? Why am I here? And, who shit in my pants?”

I came close to death on several occasions in my life, mainly due to alcohol and drug induced behaviour that lead to several Nascar-worthy car crashes, some epically stupid ideas, and many mindless stunts that somehow, I managed to survive. One weird near-death experience was from being bitten on a remote Thai island by one of the most poisonous snakes on the planet. To get me off the island to a hospital on a Sunday at 5:30 am in 90 to 120 minutes before my brain exploded (side effect), was nothing less than a James Bond chase scene. If anyone is curious, I made it.

Another epic near-death experience where I ended up in the emergency ward was from doing too much cocaine, which collapsed my lung and sent my heart in a spasm. That one I’m not too proud of.

If you like high-speed car crashes, then this one is for you: At 140kms an hour my Audi GT slid off a country road and took out a 100ft of farmers fence while doing six barrel rolls. I crawled from the wreckage of what was once my shiny brand-new sports car to what basically looked like a stepped-on smoldering pop can. I walked from that one too.

My life as a young man, and immature adult, was basically falling off of motorcycles, jumping out of burning cars and swinging from vine to vine looking for Jane and her girlfriends.

Not until I was on my knees, naked, and in tears in complete surrender that I gave up fighting myself. I remember that very moment in my living room with a bottle of wine in my hand, (a delicious Burgundy), a rolled up $100 bill in my other hand, looking up to the mystical heavens with tears in my eyes begging for God to help me… “please send me an angel to save me” I cried, then I passed out. (The angel did come true, but that’s another story:)

This is where my journey to “find-myself” started.

After that low point of hitting the dirt once too many times, I decided I needed help and went for therapy and counselling. I wore holes in the couches of my psychiatrist and psychologist, I went to palm readers, energy workers and some spooky fortune tellers. I read tons of books, sang the bible for a while, did hypnosis, then went to India, Thailand, Nepal and Bali and joined a Monastery and an Ashram. I prayed with swamis and monks, climbed the Himalayas, studied yoga, and even stopped talking for a while on several occasions, including meditating in silence for ten days straight.

During that period, I had was fortunate enough to see death up close by watching a body being burned on the banks of the Ganges River in Rishikesh India, and again while living in a Buddhist Monastery in Thailand, both to observe and contemplate the temporal nature of life, especially my own. Looking at a pale corpse with no-make up in plain sight from a few feet away is a reminder we shouldn’t waste our life watching TV, but the real lesson from the Buddhists is that we have to die before we can awaken; meaning our ego has to die. As the Buddha proclaimed under the Bodhi tree, “I am awake”, which was his acknowledgment that it was his end-of-suffering.

Watching a body being cremated up close painfully showed me my lack of respect for myself and my oblivious disregard for my life, but that didn’t solve my mystery or problems; it just showed me I was on the long road of broken glass in bare feet with no happiness in sight. None of those life experiences above WOKE me up or moved me to a deeper state long enough to look into “myself”and find out why I was so fucked-up and dissatisfied with life. Eastern wisdom traditions teach that pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. I just didn’t — couldn’t figure out the difference.

Then I did Ayahuasca. (read here)

At first, nothing noticeably really changed in my life immediately after my Ayahuasca experience at Rythmia. I mean I didn’t want to become an astronaut or billionaire, or some big important person or do anything especially mind-blowing to get attention. Actually, the effect was somewhat the reverse.

I ‘ve already had success in my life despite my behavior and style, but after my experience with Ayahuasca, I was slowly “letting- go”. Yup, the download I got during my Ayahuasca trip was just to let-go of everything; stop fighting, stop resisting, stop trying to hang on and control things in my life, and especially- stop being the victim of my emotions and thoughts!

I needed to let-go of the fear that drove me to the pushing and grinding for “more”, for “bigger”, “better”, “faster”. I started to recognize the “little me”, the “ego” behind my actions and fears and my feelings that- “I’m not enough, and I need to prove I am!”

Ayahuasca gave me a little “nudge”, a nudge that pushed me off the course I was on.

It was like I moved 2 degrees to the left or two degree to the right, not sure which one, but the “nudge” from my Ayahuasca experience was just enough to change my trajectory, my path, the direction I was going. Imagine a ship sailing on course in the ocean, then some jerk touches the wheel and turns it just 2 degrees. After a few days, the ship is perhaps thousands of miles from the course it was on and is now completely in another ocean. Of course, they would give that guy an old-fashioned skulling, but just think, the farther you go and the longer the time you are on this new course, the farther the distance is from where you would have ended up. The original shift is small and subtle, but as time goes on it has a massive impact that affects everything and every part your life. This “nudge” has actually saved my life, and my marriage, and I am eternally grateful:)

Over the last 6 months after leaving Rythmia, this nudge has slowly and skillfully been burning off old toxic behaviours and habits; it’s been like a slow death of my old ‘self’ and the slow realization and awareness that I am beyond the self, beyond the “poor little me”,the ego-self that was ruling and ruining my life.

My awakening.

I am becoming more aware and conscious of all things everyday; it’s like I am growing.

I now almost always identify and observe the “Ego” as soon as I feel my negative emotions arise. These emotions get switched-on from negative thoughts, and then gets transferred to poor behaviour and decisions. When I feel these thoughts coming on, I practice letting them go I don’t attach or hang on to the negtaive feeling and just let it run its course until it dissolves into nothing. It’s like when letting these fearful, angry, jealous, etc., thoughts and emotions come in my front door, I just observe them and watch them pass by me, then watch them go out the back door. I don’t stop them and serve them tea anymore! Hanging on to those emotions is how you get in trouble and start spiralling down.

The more I do that, the more I weaken the ego and the more I release the negative emotions attached to these negative thoughts of past negative experiences. I now get over my negative emotions; I don’t hide them, I dont suppress them or sweep them under the carpet anymore – they are dealt with and dissolved. The more observant I become of “letting-go”, the more I become conscious and awake to my real-self and watch my inner happiness grow. Simply put; I am not my thoughts, I am not my feelings, I am not my emotions!

This letting-go process has changed how I see everything now, who I am becoming, and how I interact with the world around me. It has changed my emotion of “desire” into “acceptance”. I don’t want the same things I used to want before. I’m beginning to understand that “less is more” and letting go of all material desires is freeing.

Desire is a negative emotion; it actually means “attachment” in the sense that if you don’t get the thing you desire, you’ll be disappointed and let-down and, in some cases, you will bend your moral compass to get whatever it is you desire at that moment. In other words, you are emotionally negatively affected if you get the thing you desire, or you don’t get the thing you desire; either way it is attachment.

I once met someone who had totally let-go who explained to me that for every key on my key ring is a responsibility, a debt, a payment, an attachment. With this, comes the struggle of initially getting it, then keeping it, looking after it, and the fear of losing it. It doesn’t mean to not have a car or a home, it just means don’t let that become your identity, your symbol of your worth, or give it more meaning than what it is. Collecting “things” can be a huge burden.

At an early age we are taught the word “mine” which is argued to be critical mistake, because then we “attach” to it instead of “share” it; we take possession and make it a part of emotional identity and then begin to hold on to it with the fear of losing it. The worry, the anxiety of hanging-on is crippling to some people who have built a whole identity around their material possessions and status.

Let’s face it, we’re in a system designed to keep us in debt and distracted from day one until we die. Along the way in the game of Life, we’re bombarded with things to buy, that we don’t need, with money we don’t have. It’s a system that keeps you voluntarily feeding it as it feeds off you. We’re constantly being milked like cows because we’re believing what’s on TV and in the mainstream news, and social media.

When looking on social media, we feel bummed how good other people look and how much fun they are having. We’re an open target because we’re brainwashed on what to buy so we can feel better about ourselves and show others we’re cool and we “made it” and we “fit-in”. Our inherent negativity and lack of self-worth is constantly being preyed on, by others and by our very own ego. This is the same ego that tells us meditation is silly and you don’t have time for it, and it doesn’t do anything anyway, so why start.

We all want to get off this ride.

We’re now so absorbed and distracted by social media, call it “digital slavery”, that we can’t stop looking at our tiny screens long enough to notice that the real world exists around us because we’re too busy chasing dopamine hits from our social media accounts. Real relationships are just a face to face conversation away, but now we are avoiding them because we are fearful of rejection. According to studies, many young people now do not know how to socialize “in-person” as they cannot understand the language of facial expressions because their main communication has always been texting. It’s like a lost art, but sadly, its simply called “conversation and socialization”.

Nature is also telling us how disconnected we have become, she is our greatest teacher if only we would listen to her. She’s telling us something now, but we’re so consumed with technology, and idolizing celebrities and making stupid people famous that we are unable to connect and empathize with her to see what’s actually going on. The clock is ticking.

Meanwhile we’ve never been unhappier and more disconnected than ever. We’re on massive amounts of prescription drugs, so much so that all the water tested in North American rivers and lakes have traces of pharmaceuticals from what goes down the toilets.

Corporate unconsciousness and profitability has its nasty downside. Does the staggering amount of Round-up, pesticides, herbicides, artificial ingredients and GMO’s in our food have anything to do with ADHD, neurological disorders, food allergies, cancer, dis-ease and shorter life-spans?

Hey, I don’t want to be a Debbie Downer, but let’s not put our heads in the sand either; that’s called being “unconscious,” and that is our biggest epidemic right now- “unconsciousness and spiritual ignorance”. We have a spiritual deficit on this planet, and I’m not talking about divisive religions, I’m talking about “ conscious energy”, our connection to “source” and the “oneness” of everything and everybody.

Awakening.

I now personally don’t represent being one of the unconscious anymore, “I woke up”. Just like the millions that are waking up, energetically forming all the positive energies of light and influence on this planet to all life, to each other; sharing, loving, caring to all- no matter if you’re green, blue, sex oriented in any direction, male/female, square, round or so unique there is no name for you- you are no better than me and I am no better than you- I am inyou and you are in me. I am the fish, I am the tree, and so are you. We are all made of the very same ingredients; it’s all connected, we are “one”; We are all star-stuff. Carl Sagan

“Waking up” is to open our eyes and see what is going on in ourselves, and around us- the distractions, the stress, the craziness of life and the world, and reconnect with our souls and get our “living” back.

It’s about going past the noise of thoughts and seeing past the blinders, through the veils, so we can connect to our true inner selves and find the truth. It’s going Home. Home, like the womb of the universe, is where we came from; the cosmic energy before our first breath, and throughout our life and after our last breath.

We are “source“ the inhabitants of our bodies. When the body is done, our energy “soul” leaves and is re-birthed again and again. That is how the universe works, and science is proving it now. Scientists are now calling our universe “just one big thought”- wrap your head around that!

WE are not separate, WE are eternal. When we harm someone we harm ourselves, when we destroy mother nature, we destroy ourselves. We will always be the first victim of our anger and violence, and we will always be the reciever when we give.

We are all starving for real conversation- real intimacy- real love- real relationships- real beauty- real values- real connection, and with that comes love, respect, compassion, forgiveness, truth, honour, inspiration, and the list of higher vibrational states goes on. This frequency is the only thing that matters, it’s the only thing that will send us all into another direction of where we’re heading. Imagine a bunch of bankers who wake-up, and a bunch of greedy corporations who wake up? Imagine the changes we would see? But, they won’t do it themselves; they will when there is an “awakened society”stemming from the flow of source-energy that is stronger; the frequency of love that overshadows all.

When the power of love overcomes the love of power, will we know peace.“ Jimi Hendrix

My 12 Buddha-style cool moves to Wake-Up

· I did Ayahuasca at Rythmia to open my heart and find a new path

· I decided to take action to stop my suffering by letting-go

· I am Meditating twice a day, in the morning when I get up and before I go to bed. If I’m lucky I do a third meditation in the afternoon.

· I have completely restricted myself from TV and limited my social media time and the mundane

· I am reading books on consciousness, lots of them, and I am enjoying the space between the thoughts, as they grow:)

· I am now experiencing my life and the world through my own eyes and not through a screen

· I am trying my best to eat only high vibrational organic, non-GMO plant-based foods

· I am drinking, almost exclusively, room temperature spring water from a 15-litre glass jug (no toxic plastic, no waste)

· I am continuously practicing loving-kindness daily with myself, my family, and everyone I meet

· I am fully engaged in attention and connection when speaking to people

· I am sharing my love and strength with others at every opportunity

· I am constantly inquiring and resolving and letting-go the deep-rooted issues that are holding me back from who I really want to be and the happiness I truly deserve

“And you? When will you begin that long journey into yourself?” — Rumi

If you need a nudge” to WAKE-UP, try Ayahuasca. I worked for me big-time!

Thanks for reading. Lot’s of hugs and love:)

++Watch this, it will “nudge” you:)

Yep! this is me below:)

Walking into the Fire- my Ayahuasca Experience at Rythmia – watch here

I’ve suffered at times from being an asshole during my life. I can’t say I knowingly have worked very hard at it, but if you had asked my employees, my family and the general people around, at times you would think I went to college and got a degree for it.

Like any “a-hole” out there, when we act like one- most of us don’t realize we are. Often, we’re excused as having a chip on our shoulder, being highly motivated, a hard-ass businessman or simply being angry at a lot of things in life (unless things go our way). We generally leave a path of destruction, mostly the carnage of other people we’ve been in contact with-  those who have worked for us, with us, our spouses and even our children.

There is a reason for this.

Some people say it’s being pulled-off the nipple too early in life, which has many meanings, all of which I tend to agree with. Whether you weren’t fed on time, were ignored, abandoned, didn’t have your needs met in some form or another, it has affected you and created who you are today.

Founder of Rythmia, Gerard Powell says that these experiences make us split with our souls somewhere by the age of five or six years old. He too split from his soul and became an asshole (his words, not mine). Some people, as a result of this “neglect” or “soul splitting”, turn us into being angry impatient assholes, I was one of them.

When you feel abandoned, neglected or unimportant early on in your childhood, you strive for attention, recognition and worthiness. This creates a lot of problems because you are angry, your needs weren’t met, and you desire attention and become either a show-off, a bully, or a materialistic needy person to find and prove your worth. In order to meet those needs, the needs of others don’t matter to you – meet the asshole.

In order to fix myself I have done years of therapy. After realizing that wasn’t working, I turned to eastern philosophy and wisdom traditions such as yoga, tantra, meditation and mindfulness. That has helped tremendously, and I am no longer a “class-A” asshole. I do however, have some dust in the corner of my closet and I committed myself years ago to continue to relentlessly work-on to becoming the best version of myself, and therefore have fired myself from being President of the “A-hole” club.

This leads me to my Ayahuasca journey to Rythmia Life Advancement Centre in Costa Rica. This is where I came to dust my closet and find the piece of me I feel is missing. This is a place you go to profoundly change who you are, into the person who you want to be. 

First off, Costa Rica is awesome, the locals are great and the natural beauty is breathtaking. Rythmia is located in the Guanacaste Province, an hour by car from Liberia airport. The resort is beautiful and although not on the ocean, it has a gorgeous pool and it shares the vast property of the JW Marriot which is located on the beach, so bathing in the Pacific Ocean isn’t far away. Rythmia is a safe, remote and peaceful setting.

Ayahuasca is not a vacation…its work.

The program at Rythmia isn’t for slackers. You have to lean-in and subject yourself to the unknown skeletons in your closet. The more effort you make to attain your goal and the more you let go of control, the more you get out of it. You have a lot of work to do, emotionally and physically. Classes and workshops, hydro-colon therapy treatments, messages, meditation, yoga and reflection time are a must to prepare you for the energy draining ceremonies. These side-duties all adds up to keeping you on the road to your awakening and coming out the other side a new you; the one you’ve been longing for, the person you were always meant to be.

How do I know this? Well, it goes like this: As I mentioned above, something happened to us early in life which caused us to lose a part of us, and that is our soul has split from us. Yes, your soul, and we only “merge” again with it when we die, unless of course you go find it before that.

At Rythmia, you go soul searching. You must walk right into the fire! You go in the fire and get your soul and bring it back into you. How? By drinking Ayahuasca, and going through the process of uncomfortably purging the darkness and pain of the past and opening up your subconscious mind and letting it be guided by the energies around and in us- by the intuition and wisdom of plant medicine.

The whole tradition of the indigenous peoples of the Amazon honouring plant medicine during ceremony is an incredibly spiritual experience. I was in such gratitude at every ceremony night of being able to experience this healing modality.

The Maloka, (the hall, including the yoga platform), had eighty mattresses spread out on the floor, each with a pillow, a blanket, and a bucket with roll of toilet paper at the foot of each bed. In the centre of the room against the wall was the alter where the shaman serves out his/her lovingly concocted brew, much like a Michelin Star chef meticulously creates his signature dish. This area is also where he sits with his tools: Wira– dried bamboo leaves from the banks of the Amazon river. These leaves are fastened together like a bouquet and thought to contain the wisdom of the river from the wind blowing it down the banks.  The Wira is used like a fan to move and clear energies.

Chindu is a tonic of herbs, oil and water blended and to be administered by the shaman spraying it out from his mouth onto you. There are two types of Chindu: one is sour and used to clear energy, the other is sweet; to put good energy back in.

When the shaman sings, it is known as “Icaros”. Wikipedia describes it as “a South American indigenous colloquialism for magic or alchemy, or any esoteric modality by which an experienced user can channel their energy to manifest their will”.

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The first night ceremony

…was extremely difficult and painful as I wretched into a bucket for hours. The shaman’s say that the negative experiences in your life are collected in your body and stay there until you take them out with Ayahuasca. Much like a garbage truck collects garbage, you suppress or allow these negative emotions to stay in your body. Enough of these energies can create a lot of dis-ease. The plant-medicine is there to “take out the garbage’. The idea behind Ayahuasca is to make you “purge” out those negative energies in one of many forms such as vomiting, diarrhea, yawning, scratching, sneezing. Yes, this is the hard part, but this is how it works. You need to break down those stored emotions so they rise to surface. Just like your body makes you throw-up excessive alcohol in order to protect itself from being poisoned, your body becomes ready to purge out the toxic emotions thanks to the healing powers of this plant-based medicine.

I hallucinated like crazy, seeing the most vividly beautiful visions of floating objects and mechanical devices that are too bizarre to explain that were moving and transforming into shape after shape in a flowing ebb. Under the shaman’s watchful eye, he saw I was purging continuously and came to my aide and sprayed me with Chindu and rubbed me down with Auga de Florida (concoction of herbs, water and oils). Seven hours and two shots of Ayahuasca and a bucket of vomit passed by,  I was left exhausted emotionally and physically, but I felt lighter, less darkness – higher in vibration. I knew I was on my way to my healing.

I do think the reason I got so beat up on the first night was that I was meditating weeks before setting my intentions to go very deep into this experience and completely surrender and let Mother Ayahuasca do whatever she needed to do to me so I could get my answer. I opened the door wide for her to come in, but I actually opened the barn doors for her to drive a truck right through it, and right over me.

I call this surrender “walking into the fire”, and liken it to – “jumping into oncoming traffic”. Yup:)

The second night ceremony

…was a little more centred in the ancient tradition and the Ayahuasca was a different brew, slightly stronger which deepened my experience into the subconscious mind of fluttering images of people that were in my life that I had some trouble with, especially those I am distant from. I realized these were emotions I attached to them that didn’t serve me any longer that were boiling to the surface to be released.

I repeatedly saw a matrix of brilliantly colourful transforming rubix-cube-like boxes that continued to move within each other and rebirth continuously. I was tripping out and it reminded me of my earlier LSD days. I only vomited once this night, but yawned uncontrollably, purging the emotional negative energies that arose. By the second glass of medicine I started having visions of intricate geometric designs and moving machinery and cavernous tunnels that would close tight whenever I moved towards them. I was on a chase to find a path to the next level of the game that was playing out in my mind, but each time the vision would change forms and leave me falling into an continuous unfolding of tunnels and paths that changed directions and would never let me in.

The night ended with me learning that I needed to let go, stop resisting or trying to control the storyline, and instead of searching, I should have relaxed and let the paths and tunnels do their own thing and come to me instead. It was about surrendering and relaxing into it. That was my lesson to take forward to the next ceremony.

The third night ceremony

…was by far the most theatrical, intense and emotionally uncomfortable. The theme was the divine feminine and the shaman and her assistants were all women. They sang and chanted and played instruments all night as opposed to playing recorded music the previous two nights. The music on the previous nights was amazing and something I have never heard before. It was incredible. However, the live music accompanied with women singing added an element of emotional richness and mixed with the strongest medicine thus far, had the effect of trippy LSD hallucinations to the entire night. The energy was so intense that a few participants reacted wildly with “Linda Blair” outbursts that elevated the energies that were brewing in the Maloka. It was frightening to some people, but they were also resisiting the “what-isness” of the moment and refused to let-go.

This night I managed to drink almost three shots of Ayahuasca and inhaled through the nose two “Rappe” servings (ground ashes of tobacco and herbs) from the Tepi Pipe that are used to stimulate the pineal gland and the chakras.

I eventually managed to go outside and stand beneath the most magnificent stars I have ever seen in my life. The Guanacaste area of Costa Rica has no large cities so there is no reflective lights in the night sky, the air is pure and you can see deep into space. I admit that I was really high, even wasted at the time, but the stars really were so incredibly abundant and bright that I had no doubt that we are not alone in the universe.

The fourth night ceremony

…was the biggest, longest and best. This is the grand finale here at Rythmia. It starts at 7pm and goes to 10am, and what a show it is. Gerry brings in a shaman by the name of Mitra, a beautiful authentic loving soul that exudes a massive amount of love and kindness. He is accompanied with his crew of assistants who are talented singers and musicians as well. Mitra dresses as a traditional Peruvian shaman medicine man and sings and chats the ancient wisdom of the rich Ayahuasca songs.

I was the first to drink

…the brew that night, and soon after my first drink of Ayahuasca I was spinning in a tornado of emotions that bumped and grinded me from the inside out. I never vomited the whole night, or had diarrhea, I just churned inside in pain and nausea, and because of this I was nearing my emotional breaking point and the realization of who I had become in my life and what I didn’t like about myself.

This person isn’t the one I wanted to be anymore. I wanted to rid myself of the discomfort I have felt my whole life; the lack of my true divine self. Until this night I have been struggling to find a sense of wholeness, happiness and inner peace, I was now at the gate of finding out who I really am.

A most significant part of this night is the Blessings the shaman gives to you. He and his tribe dance and chant and spray you with Chindu and use the Wira to move the energies and thick smoke from the Kappal (tree resin) that is periodically permeated throughout the Maloka.

It happened.

On each ceremony night I had the luxury of being across from the shamans and the Ayahuasca alter. This particular night I was very grateful for my short distance to him from my mattress. There were four blessings in total, each with around twenty people in them. People sat in a semi circle around Mitra. I couldn’t muster up the will to make it to any of the previous blessings because of my nausea, and finally I had to crawl from my mattress across the room to join the final blessing. I hadn’t broken through yet and got my “miracle” as Gerry called it, so this was my last chance to get it. It was “last-call”.

I sat there shirtless with my hand over my mouth to prevent myself from puking on the floor in front of me while Mitra and his tribe chanted, danced and played music. This rhythmic energy he was building started to awaken my soul, and soon I felt like a cobra swaying up straight from a basket on the floor. I couldn’t prevent this and I didn’t start this. I was in a trance for what may have been fifteen minutes and then all of a sudden he stood in front of me it happened.

It was like a car turned on its headlights in my eyes, and my body snapped to attention and straightened.  An angelic energy started pouring over my head and down my torso and then – BOOM! – I was looking right at my estranged brother who I haven’t seen in twelve years. His face with looking at me, his eyes in a blank stare, I just sat there stunned and not understanding why I was seeing him. That was until “I” stepped out beside him. The little boy”Me” when I was six or seven years old was now standing in front of me. We stared at each other, I was looking into the eyes of this young innocent boy, and all of a sudden it came to me why he was there, I just started to howl and sob uncontrollably, I couldn’t stop.

As I sat there in the semi-circle with tears rolling down my face and snot coming out from my nose as the dancing and blessings were going on, I was staring at this little boy whose heart was just broken; the point where the pain of being shunned was so great that it had divided me from my soul.

(As a kid, I was known for my anger and tantrums almost from birth, I’m not sure why, but that is another story I will uncover I’m sure. However, my only brother, my big brother, didn’t have the patience for my behaviour back then and throughout my young adult life to this very day, so he turned is back on me then and discarded me. My brother had been my hero my whole life, I looked up to him, he was very intelligent and a strong athlete who became a very successful man).

As a boy, and a teenager through to an adult, I never could get his attention or his affection. I can’t blame him for turning his back on me, I was a lot of trouble and always have been and he had his own life to create. Therapists used to ask me who’s love I wanted most, my mothers of fathers? I could never answer that. But, now I know the answer: it was my brothers love that I wanted most.

In the Meloka, shirtless in a semi-circle of people, bawling my eyes out, I called that beautiful boy by holding my arms open. He was soon in my arms and we were hugging and crying together. He looked at me with reassurance- like he was at peace, and as I looked at him I promised never to let him go, to always respect and regard him, to forever protect him and love him always. We stayed in an embrace for what seemed like hours. I was crying in bliss as we were both engulfed in light, I felt my heart soften, open wide as it filled, I felt alive and happy like never before. For the first time in my life I didn’t feel pain or emptiness there, just shear complete joy and love.

The ceremony had stopped at some point, and although I never once opened my eyes throughout it, I managed to crawl to my mattress where I sobbed for another hour in pure love, happiness and gratitude that I found myself, found my soul.

I found myself – I now love myself – I found my soul, – I found my miracle.

My life is forever changed.

Metta

 

 

 

 

A few words before we go.

Click the picture above to watch and listen to our gabbing about what our upcoming Ayahuasca experience may be like at Rythmia. We’re not sure. We’re kinda freaked out (Kelly, my wife, more so). Luckily for me, I think my brain is on a “time-lapse”, so when something frightening happens, by the time I click-in, it’s already past. The event is over, and I’m OK. I think its kinda like non-skid breaks or an airbag; a built-in protection mechanism.

So, why freak out? Mostly, because the fear and anticipation of facing yourself and your scary monsters becomes very real very fast. And what may you find in that closet full of skeletons said the ghost? Hmmmmmm.

It’s the same reason we don’t say “sorry”, or stop and talk to beggars , or look at someone in a wheelchair, or don’t deeply look into someones eyes and connect. It’s because we’re not comfortable with ourselves, with who we are, because we really don’t know ourselves, we haven’t cultivated pure love, self-love, selfless love for others and ourselves. Something got in the way, something closed our hearts at some point in our lives, even if it was just for a minute. And when that moment happened, when we were a little kid, a teen, a adult, our hearts changed, we changed, we lost our innocence. Something happened that took it all away in a flash, and we are forever changed from that moment forward.

Unfortunately, we sometimes don’t remember what it was that shook us so deeply, badly, and sadly. Some of us know exactly what that moment was, and we never forget it. It still burns and hurts, When we think of it, we shake, we tremble, sob or get viciously angry. We carry this burden and it affects everything, your relationships, your  work, your life.

But…there is light and self-love.

There is an access point to find the key that just might change the way you feel about this incident, this crime, this obstacle that has affected the way you have behaved and interacted your whole life. Mostly, it probably has changed the way you feel about “you”.

This first/single incident has coloured your perspective, your thoughts, your thinking. Just like a pool ball that gets hit by another ball and suddenly is projected in a whole new direction and path of trajectory. This is life, constantly being pulled our pushed in directions by events and things you want to happen and things you don’t want to happen.

But, you didn’t want or ask for that negative life-changing event early in your life to happen did you? You didn’t even know it was coming probably. It just happened. And now here you are all grown up and its come along for the ride all these years. Maybe its time to get rid of it? That would be a very good idea indeed.

I was lucky enough to learn how to self-heal myself, but it took me the better part of my life floundering and self-medicating my pain through work, sex, alcohol and drugs. I carried around a lot of pain, and it showed in many ways, and the best escape, the only escape was numbing myself in a not-so-good way. Only when I exhausted that road and fell to my knees I sought help. This is where I decided to go inward and find my true-self. I started looking for the root causes of my suffering and learned from others, found teachers and meditated and meditated and meditated.

Here is what I was taught from a monk in Thailand who I learned to love:

Johan, the Dean (second in command of the Monastery of forty monks), a kind beautiful loving soul of a man in his early fifties took a shine to me, especially when he found out I could fix and build just about anything. One day while replacing a roof on a Kuti (tree-fort on stilts in the forest), he asked me what has been bothering me since I entered the monastery. His eyes looked deep into my soul and there was no hiding, he could feel my whole being. So, like a little school, I started rambling on about my life.

As he intently listened with pure presence and love, he put his hand on my shoulder and gave me the following lesson (monks love to do this)

1- Meditate for as long as it takes to become still (use my cheat sheet here if you like) until when you are peaceful and quiet and your mind is steady and calm. Stay in this peace for another 5 minutes or so just to make sure your mind is completely free and open.

2- Now slowly walk bath in your mind as far back as you can in your life to your earliest memory. Really dig deep. Think of your earliest memory, the very first memory you have. Where you five, ten, three, or one years old? When is the earliest memory?

3- When you have gone back as far as you can to finding the very earliest memory-dig even DEEPER. Go back to even further memory if you can. If you cant then stay there and observe what was happening, where you were, who was there and don’t judge it. Let is be, just be the witness from above observing it.

4- Then, open your mind to something that happened just before that last memory. Something else was going on, something else was happening, something else before that last memory,  maybe seconds before it, minutes before, hours before. Sit and let it come to you. Open yourself, open your heart and let that moments before your last memory come into focus. Let any resistance go. Completely let the image in. Take as long as it takes to shine the light on it..

5- When you find that “moment before”, you will see visions, you will see something you think you’ve never seen before, but there will be some familiarity to it, because it did happen. You just might find that you were being hugged, you were playing, you were happy, you were with your friends or doing something you really liked, or that your thoughts about happened, really didn’t happen the way you think, that its not really correct or true; its a comprised story. The truth of who you are is in the moments before that big event. If you look “before” that event, there is something there that will change your story.

Go back and find that loving kid full of joy and love, she’s there, she really is, and go hug her.

Maybe what happened was an accident. Maybe what happened wasn’t intentional, maybe they didn’t really know any better because of their own limited beliefs, their own messed up childhood and it’s not your fault. Maybe you were really loved. So sit with that with compassion. Compassion for them, and compassion for you. Why? because letting go of the burden, your sad story, so you can start loving yourself is what your heart needs. It what you need, and what those around you want for you. To be free.

Go find it. Why stay in your house, (of the mind)?

I do know this worked for me. I stopped feeling abandoned and unloved and not-good-enough. I regained self-love. All fo a sudden, everything I was already learning fell into place and I felt a deeper sense of belonging, self-love, joy and happiness. I was finally on the path I was so longing to find. I found that part of me that was taken away.

For those people who have suffered truly horrific experiences, I am deeply saddened and I have no idea how horribly you suffer, and my love and heart goes out to you completely. With love, may I suggest Ayahuasca at Rythmia, the first medically licensed ayahuasca retreat in the world, or some other reputable facility. It has helped so many people and its a far better alternative to toxic pharmaceuticals and continued suffering. But, please do the research, google it, watch people talk about it on youtube. Gerald Powell, the founder of Rythmia has a compelling story I recommend. Here is another amazing film I highly recommend, its called The Reality of Truth.

Notes on Rythmia: along with four Ayahuasca ceremonies, yoga twice a day, meditation, pranayama (breathing techniques), veg and vegan organic meals, and life coaching, its situated on beautiful private resort property.

Thank you for reading:)

Metta (lovingkindness)

 

 

As I pack my favourite pants, a sweet pair of hand-sewn Tibetan yoga pants that I bought in Kathmandu Nepal and put them into my carry-on suitcase, along with some t-shirts, beach shorts, and running shoes, its bitterly cold and snowing outside. In a few days, I’m leaving home for a trip of a lifetime, a trip that just may well deliver on its promise: “to change my life.”

The funny thing is, my life is already forever changing. Sometimes it’s going backwards, some times it’s going sideways, sometimes it’s going forward and some times it’s just moving along in no particular direction. That is life, at least its my life. I try not to judge it – it is just what it is. I know I raise some people’s eyebrows or even frustrate them with my self-styled strut, but it’s none of my business what other people think of me.

I have experienced a lot, seen a lot, dove into many things with wild abandon. I’ve always enjoyed the thrill, the excitement but also the tranquility of deeply peaceful experiences where time stood still and nothing moved, not even my heart at some moments. Through all of these experiences and moments I have moved in direction, I’ve always asked the question: “what is beyond the place where I am at now?

So, I’m off to ask the Wizard, or better known as Mother Ayahuasca, the answer to this very question. In the end, I hope she grants me my wish and my life will change, yet again.

Will I be afraid to see the man behind the curtain?

My destination is Rythmia, located in Costa Rica. It’s a beautiful private resort aimed at giving people their “miracles“, where they “find themselves” and the elusive answers to their burning questions about “life” and “who” and “why”. Rythmia however, was my second choice of places to go to experience Ayahuasca.

My first choice of doing Ayahuasca was a lodge two hours by riverboat to a remote village up the Amazon River in Peru. It has no electricity, no comforts, no flushing toilets, it’s just really raw, as raw as the jungle around it. Here you trek through the jungle with the Shamans to learn about the bountiful natural medicines gifted to us by mother nature in the form of plants. Only 3% of the fauna in the Amazon is known to outsiders, including Western medicine and science, and we have no idea what the rest is, but the Shamans do. They use the jungle plants for all their illnesses, from cancer to diabetes to just about everything else, and they have treatments and cures for all of it. They also use it to communicate with nature and spirit, to heal the heart, to share wisdom and protect the tribe. There is a deep reverence and respect for nature here, its their history, their culture and their pathway to the beyond.

Ayahuasca brew produces DMT (Dimethyltryptamine) a type of hallucinogen, also called the “spirit molecule”. Our own body produces it as well, which is mostly experienced at birth and death. They say that the after death experience of bliss and light is the release of the DMT. It is apparently manufactured in the Pineal Gland, otherwise known to be the home of our “Third-eye”. Funny how that works;)

Here in the jungle the Shamans gather the Caapi vines and the Chacruna plants and a brew is made from it. The vines are first pounded to fibres and the Chacruna leaves are added in a pot along with some other plants used to provide a specific treatment such as cleansing, removing obstacles or providing protection and so on. The brew tastes really bad, and vomiting and diarrhea often occurs, which removes parasites in the system, as well as dark toxic energy stored in you. I have experienced this affect myself during one of my Vipassana mediation retreats, a purging of toxicity within where my body odour exuding from my pores was so foul, I had to take fifteen showers over the tens days of the retreat.

The Shamans, also known as “Medicine Men and Women” use these plants mainly for energy work. Ridding the body, the mind and soul from negative and dark energies created from past painful childhood experiences that follow us through our lives and drag us down.

Here, in these sacred ceremonies of drinking “Aya” (spirit soul)- “waska” (rope) which means “Vine to the Soul”, you enter into altered states of consciousness and open the closet door of skeletons in your life.

This is where you come to face-to-face with yourself.

I do know from experience that resisting and fighting against whatever shows up in my life usually causes some pain in one way or another. So “acceptance” of what is – is my motto; to see every difficulty or problem as a challenge, as a way to grow and learn for my higher good. There are no mistakes, there are only gifts. However, with our internal mind-made doors, locks, gateways and hidden paths to our true-self, I am taking a short-cut to dig deeper into my soul to see what I cant see, and learn what I do not know.

Almost all people who have experienced Ayahuasca afterwards say they now understand what they need to do to become better versions of themselves. Many have seen their whole life flash before minds-eyes from birth to finish during their Ayahuasca experience. They can see things that really happened that their mind has blocked and held in secrecy since. Our brains are hardwired to shut down during shocking experiences or trauma and bury events in the hidden caves of our minds that would have otherwise destroyed us completely or dramatically changed our path. Not only that, our brains will sometimes simply colour or filter experiences to protect us and alter the facts. Its problematic sometimes going through life based on twisted facts, things don’t line up and we have a dis-function.

I’ve always wanted to know how I could be a better person on a soul-level, not just behaviourally.

I will be experiencing three Ayahuasca ceremonies which are guided by the Shamans where I will drink the potion then lay on a mat and listen to their chanting and music. This is where I will wait to meet Mother Ayahuasca who will hopefully show me the real man behind the curtain.

Stay tuned.

Metta